"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman." Virginia Woolf

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Almost got it down

I'm graduating tomorrow. That in and of itself isn't a big deal. I earned it, damn straight, but it may not be as much a defining moment as the choices I make in the near future might be. I've fufilled all the promises I've made my parents, all the bargains I've struck with them.

I have a pretty good habit of changing my life in a major way every four years. Four years ago, I graduated high school, four years before that I made a decision to live my life my way and to hell with everyone else. Four years before that, I moved from Chicago to Southlake- a move that pretty much marked the crumbling of childhood innocence. Four years prior to the move, I started school. So at age 22, I'm at a watershed. I kind'a think something big's going to happen. And not just moving to Mobile; moving isn't such a big deal, it's almost second nature. And this isn't an expectation. I'm not going to throw myself in front for the first 18-wheeler and hang on for dear life. But there's nothing that will surprise me in the next three months. There's just a certain feeling when you walk outside and the breeze is going and there's just a certain smell in the air, of the air. It's got a frenzied quality to it.

It struck me every day
The lightning was as new
As if the cloud that instant slit
And let the fire through.

It burned me in the night,
It blistered in my dream;
It sickened fresh upon my sight
With every morning’s beam.

I thought that storm was brief,—
The maddest, quickest by;
But Nature lost the date of this,
And left it in the sky. ~Emily Dickinson

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